Parent Mentor's resources, tips and ideas to help guide your child through school and beyond.
How Parent Mentors Work with Families
TERRI'S TIPS |
Parent Mentors share ideas and resources with one another on a daily basis. Terri Goodridge, mom of a young son receiving special education related services and a Bibb County Parent Mentor, files our parents’ tips in categories, so she can share information. |  |
Parenting in general is no easy task. Going to a 9-5 job outside the home is a “walk in the park” compared to being a parent. And when there is a child in the family who has a disability and special needs, the parental role becomes even more challenging. The whole family dynamic changes, individual roles change, relationships transform and responsibilities take on new meaning.
DEALING WITH STRESS
When Parenting a Special Needs Child
There is much joy in parenting a child who is “different.” This joy can take us by surprise and often help us see ourselves in a new way, making us more compassionate and stronger in the process.
Sometimes however, the stress of parenting a child with a disability can lead to forms of depression, leaving us completely spent and overwhelmed. We, as parents, must take care of ourselves if we ever want to be great parents to our children. If we are not healthy (emotionally, physically and spiritually) then how can we expect to parent our children well?
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My decision to write about this topic came from a recent conversation I had with a mother. She and her husband are raising a small child who has been diagnosed with significant developmental delays. This mom was overwhelmed, showing signs of depression, feeling isolated, alone and misunderstood. My heart went out to her because I can relate to what she is going through. I have been there too. |
This is especially tue in the early childhood years, when our children’s symptoms, diagnosis, delays, etc. are just beginning to emerge. Parents in the early stages struggle to understand, learn, and just plain make sense of it all.
Now, what do we do with all of this? How do we handle it? How do we not get depressed, overwhelmed and stressed out? No matter what, we will still have our low moments, but over the years I have learned a little about how to take care of me, so that these things do not get out of control. I hope some of my advice can be of help to others. So, here we go!
Nine Steps
TO A LESS STRESSED YOU!
1. Be in tune with your body. Often times stress can manifest itself physically by making us feel ill, causing sleep disturbances, skin breakouts, depression, weight loss or gain, etc.
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3. Find something you enjoy and carve out time in your week to do it! It may be doing yoga, pottery class, horse back riding, re-decorating, reading a book, etc. That special thing will be different for each of us. 4. Take time out when you are feeling angry and frustrated. Believe me, it is better than saying or doing something you will regret. Maybe all you need is 5-10 minutes. Sometimes that is enough to allow ourselves to re-group. When this happens to me, I go for a walk in my neighborhood to blow off steam and calm myself again……..alone. If you are the only adult home, then take your time out in your bedroom or yard. Basically, work with what you got. |
5. If you are married, then you have to communicate your feelings and needs to your spouse. There may need to be some negotiating on things so that you can get a break. For example, if you are the main parent who does the whole bath and bedtime routine (which in some cases can take more than hour…or two) , ask your spouse to make sure he or she is home from work in time to take on this duty and then make a schedule, so everyone, including your child understands the routine. Use that time to read a book, watch your favorite TV show, Catch up on Facebook, pray, meditate or just sleep! 6. Good old fashioned exercising is always a winner. If you need to start small by taking a stroll around your block, then do it. You will be amazed at how much better you feel after all those endorphins kick in. It also allows you to clear your mind in the process. 7. Indulge a little from time to time. I love chocolate. I eat a little bit of that and it makes me feel good. Now, I am not advocating for stuffing your face till you can’t breathe anymore. But just enough to provide a mood elevator. Find that special indulgence for you. 8. Connect with good friends! This never fails; especially when loads of laughter is involved. 9. Seek out other supports from family and/or friends. Ask them to babysit or take the kids for an ice cream cone. Don’t feel guilty about wanting time without the kids. |
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Allowing yourself to reconnect with your self is beyond important. I think we get so wrapped up in our children and their “disability” that we forget to nurture ourselves. Time gets way from us and before we know it, we have no “life” beyond our four walls and work. We must remember that we are more than our child’s parent, our spouse’s significant other, and our job’s employee. We are all unique and individual. So, if this “speaks” to you, then get moving! Start taking those small steps towards a better you. Because you deserve it! |
Helpful Websites with Parents in Mind:
Parents under Stress - Surviving the Toughest Job you will ever Love!
PsychCentral - Parental Stress with Special Needs Kids
Family Friendly Fun: Coping with Stress
